Once a month, my 6-year-old son takes me on a dinner date. Not a casual meal at home. A real date. At a restaurant. With planning and intention and all the elements that make it significant rather than routine.
He opens doors, pulls out my chair, and pays with his chore money—including the tip. Everything. Not because I make him, but because he wants to. Because he takes this seriously. Because even at six years old, he understands that how you treat someone matters, and the details are part of showing respect.
We put our phones away and just talk. That’s the rule. No distractions. No checking messages. No scrolling through social media while half-listening. Just conversation. Full attention. The kind of presence that’s become rare even between adults, but this six-year-old insists on it because he knows that talking—real talking—requires both people to be fully there.
I’m teaching him table manners, money management, and math through calculating tips. Those are the practical lessons. How to hold silverware. How to budget from his chore money. How to calculate percentages. Skills he’ll use forever, practiced monthly in a context that makes them real rather than abstract.
But most importantly, as a woman who’s been abused, I’m teaching him how to respect women—something too many men never learned.
That’s the heart of it. That’s why these monthly dates matter more than just teaching a child to tip or use a napkin properly. Because this six-year-old is learning, through repetition and example, what respect looks like. What it means to treat someone—especially a woman—with consideration, attention, and care.
He’s learning that you open doors not because women are helpless, but because showing courtesy matters. That you pull out chairs because small gestures of thoughtfulness create an atmosphere of respect. That you pay attention during meals because the person across from you deserves your full presence. That you manage money responsibly so you can treat people you care about. That you calculate tips because service workers deserve fair compensation and acknowledging their labor is part of being a good person.
And he’s learning all of this from his mother—someone who knows what it’s like when men don’t do these things. Someone who’s experienced the opposite of respect and is determined that her son will be different. Will be better. Will grow into the kind of man who treats women like they matter, not because he’s performing chivalry, but because he genuinely believes in their worth.
As a woman who’s been abused, teaching this matters in ways that are hard to articulate. It’s not just about raising a polite child. It’s about breaking cycles. About ensuring that whatever damage was done to her doesn’t get passed forward to affect how he treats women in his life. It’s about transforming pain into purpose by creating a man who will never make someone feel the way she felt.
Something too many men never learned. Because they weren’t taught. Because their fathers didn’t model it. Because the culture around them suggested that respect for women was optional or outdated or somehow contrary to masculinity. So they grew up thinking that doors don’t need to be opened, that attention doesn’t need to be given, that women exist for their convenience rather than deserving their consideration.
But this six-year-old is learning differently. Once a month, he practices being the kind of man the world needs more of. And he does it with his mother—the first woman in his life, the one who will shape how he sees all the others.
The photograph shows him at the table, carefully counting his chore money, planning how to pay for the meal and tip. He’s six years old and taking this as seriously as any adult would. Because to him, this isn’t practice. This is real. This is how you treat someone you love. This is what respect looks like in action.
These monthly dates are teaching him that women deserve full attention, thoughtful gestures, and financial responsibility from the men in their lives. That relationships require effort and intention. That you don’t just say you respect someone—you demonstrate it through consistent action.
And maybe most importantly, he’s learning that spending time with women—listening to them, talking with them, being fully present with them—is valuable. That women aren’t obstacles to navigate or puzzles to solve or objectives to achieve. They’re people worthy of respect, attention, and care.
This mother, who’s been abused, is raising a son who will never abuse. Who will never ignore. Who will never treat women as less than fully human and fully deserving of respect. She’s breaking the cycle by teaching him, month after month, what healthy relationships look like.
Once a month, my 6-year-old son takes me on a dinner date. And in doing so, he’s learning to be the kind of man the world desperately needs. The kind who opens doors and pulls out chairs and puts his phone away and really listens. The kind who manages money responsibly so he can treat people well. The kind who understands, at six years old, what too many men never learn in a lifetime: that respecting women isn’t optional. It’s essential.