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Squirt Showdown: Kelce Brothers Dissect the Sideline Hydration Enigma

Have you ever tuned into a football game and pondered the peculiar role of individuals on the sidelines whose sole responsibility seems to be squirting water into the player’s mouths? Throughout my […]

Have you ever tuned into a football game and pondered the peculiar role of individuals on the sidelines whose sole responsibility seems to be squirting water into the player’s mouths?

Throughout my years of watching professional and college football, the sight of these sideline “bottle jockeys” never failed to catch my eye.

However, it’s a topic I never delved into until now, in the year 2023. Surprisingly, the answer doesn’t come from investigative journalism or a hard-hitting reporter but rather from an unexpected source—two NFL players with a podcast.

Travis Kelce, the tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs (and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend), and Jason Kelce, the center for the Philadelphia Eagles (and Christmas music savant), host their own podcast called “New Heights.”

Despite their busy NFL schedules, they manage to release a new episode every week during the season.

Interestingly, their podcast, often featuring discussions about Taylor Swift, manages to make headlines consistently.

In a recent segment titled “No Dumb Questions,” a listener inquired about the sideline water bottle situation.

Travis and Jason Kelce, showing respect for the seemingly mundane question, offered their insights.

Travis initiated the discussion, stating, “Honestly, somebody comes up to me with it already (ready to go), and all they gotta do is just go around from person to person and just (ask) ‘do you want one? I can shoot you real quick.’ It’s way easier. I don’t know, it’s maybe not much easier, but it is convenient.”

Taking an unexpected turn, the elder brother, Jason, steered the conversation into an innuendo-riddled minefield, making playful jokes about bottles squirting.

He humorously remarked, “You kind of just know when someone reaches up to squirt ya to just open up your mouth, and then you just get squirted.

They don’t have to do the squirting, you can do the squirting sometimes. When you develop a relationship, you just know when you are about to get squirted on.”

While the podcast may include middle-school level jokes, the essence of their response to the water bottle mystery is clear: having someone else handle the task of squirting water into players’ mouths is easier, faster, and more convenient.